Professor Swagilicious 1
by InsaneDropProductions
Summary: The team unites and... just read it, it's short...


It's been forever since I stopped the product. My small apprentice is following in my footsteps. He even has somewhat of a girlfriend at this point. Where am I getting to? I need to introduce myself! I'm Professor Swagilicious! Yes, that's my real last name. You shouldn't be judging... I'm looking at you, writing a hate comment... that's right, stop. Just stop...

Professor Swagilicious clears his throat, ready to tell a story.

"Come a little closer to the fire... and listen to what I have to tell you..."

"Good... years ago, I wasn't the devilishly handsome sober, fine example of a man you see before... Okay, I wasn't sober... As I was saying, I was addicted to heroine. It felt as if I couldn't live without it."

The man sighs, in disappointment at himself.

"I usually kept to myself largely aside from going to the dealer. One day, I ran out on all of my drugs. I went to the location to see the dealer incapacitated and all his heroine stolen. I did not feel like pursuing whoever stole the drugs, as I could not think clearly with them and would not have had the ability to hunt the man down. I walked back to my mansion. On the way, I saw a party going on. I saw a child about the age of 16 smoking marijuana. I immediately came to my senses, pulling the child from the party and taking him to my mansion. I locked him in one of my guest rooms for the night."

(the morning of that day)

Alex wakes up, no longer intoxicated from weed.

"What the hell am I doing here? Was that party really that insane?"

He gets up and walks to the door, trying to open it, discovering that it's locked from the outside.

"Who puts locks on the outside of their doors!?"

Just then, Professor Swagilicious cuts in.

"Hello, sorry... the lock is stuck! I'll be right back..."

"Are you the one who took me here?"

"You'll thank me later!"

Alex sits down on the bed, angry that an old man took him into his house and is now getting apologetic about trapping him in the room.

"You're the one who locked me in here..."

Professor Swagilicios walks down into the basement, looking for his locksmith kit.

"I know I put it somewhere in here..."

He finds it, making sure everything is in it, slowly and carefully.

Alex sits with his phone, posting to a Facebook page called Fandoms United. Typing, he quietly sounds out what he's typing, something he's gotten numerous strange looks for doing.

"I'm... trapped... in... a... room... in... a... guy's... house... I wonder... if... the others... at the party... know... what happened..."

Just as Alex hits post, Professor Swagilicious opens the door.

"I'm sorry for trapping you in here... I was more or less 'high' at the time it happened..."

"We were both high. No sweat. I probably shouldn't be smoking weed anyway."

"Well, I suppose I should get you-"

The conversation is interrupted by a large rumbling that shakes the house, as a flash of lightning hits the center of the city. Professor Swagilicious looks out the window at the site as his red monacle gleams in the light.

"Could it be? An anomaly?"

"A what?"

The Professor looks at Alex.

"We need weapons... follow me."

The two race to the man's armory.

"Whoa! What else do you have in this mansion?"

"A lot, now pick a weapon!"

"Which one though?"

"One that speaks to you. It could be a blade, a combination... anything."

As the Professor picks up his smart grenade launcher with attached AI, Alex picks up two small fully automatic laser pistols with long blades mounted on them. Professor Swagilicious takes Alex to his car, a Lamborghini with a loud stereo. The Professor blasts some classical music with the windows down as the two blaze down the road toward the site of the lightning strike.

When the two arrive at the site, they step out of the car to see a man standing in the middle of a large crater. He's in a nice suit and looks fairly normal aside from the fact that his eyes are glowing brightly. He looks at the two and speaks.

"Ah, Professor, it's been a long time since we've seen the likes of you. I see you've taken up a friend. Is it healthy to take such young companions on your adventures?"

Alex looks at the man with the startlingly low pitched and threatening voice.

"Who are you?! What are you?!"

"I am what you hide from at night. I am why you avoid the dark. I am why death is threatening. I am darkness... I am devastation... I am fear!"

Dark shadows cover the man as they spread all the way around the crater as the shape changes from a man to a large, grotesque creature, causing damage to the city as it swings a long, thick tendril at the two. The Professor jumps at Alex, saving his life as the tentacle slams into the ground next to them. He pulls up his grenade launcher, aiming right at the tentacle. He pulls the trigger to have the grenade explode shortly after leaving the barrel.

"Dammit, you!"

The grenade then does something completely unexpected, it speaks.

"Well, hey! How are you, Professor?"

"I would be better if you wouldn't fail every time I pulled the trigger..."

The grenade launcher laughs, "Hey, gimme a break. For one, it's been years, and for two, I don't always do that to you."

Alex looks up at the tentacle now falling toward the two, brings up his new twin pistols and begins firing. The tentacle starts bleeding what looks like black smoke.

"What the hell?"

The tendril recoils and moves closer to the body of the large monster. The Professor runs up the tentacle toward what looks like the head of the monster. He smiles at he puts his finger on the trigger of the launcher.

"Don't you remember? I don't experience fear."

He pulls the trigger, destroying the head and disintegrating the rest of the monster into white smoke. He lands where the monster was as Alex runs up to him.

"What was that?!"

"That was an anomaly."

"An anomaly?"

"Yes, when people become power hungry enough, they take on a power that will take them over. They are no longer left inside of the person. The anomaly is the spirit that has infected the man. He or she will live on as that person until they've gained enough power to strike."

"I'm staying with you from now on. Do you own a bedroom that I can have that locks from the inside instead?"

"Of course I... have a screwdriver for the doorknob..."

The two journey back to the man's house, working on the door of the guest room the Professor had Alex stay in for the night.

"You know, Alex... If you stay with me, I refuse to call you Alex."

"What are you gonna call me then?"

"Shorty..."

"I'm average height!"

"Everyone's short to me aside from me."

Alex looks up at the Professor, noticing his extreme height.

"JESUS CHRIST! YOU'RE TALL!"

"Yes, I am."

"You freaking rich, drug addicted, tall, British guys..."

"Did you just insult my British accent?"

"No..."

The two sleep peacefully in their rooms that night. Alex wakes up in the morning, messaging back and forth with a girl who is interested in Fandoms United.

"So what's your name?"

"It's Lainey"

"I like that. I'm Alex"

"Aren't you guy that was high at the party the other night?"

"Yeah... I'm not doin that again..."

"You seem pretty nice, wanna meet in person?"

"Yeah I do, where should we meet?"

"Oh, I have your address."

"How?!"

"Reasons..."

Alex sits for a second, then scrambles to get dressed and get out to the porch to see a girl about his age.

"Uh... hey there... how'd you find out where I am?"

The girl hides a hacking tool behind her back.

"I saw that."

"Oh..."

The two walk inside to see the Professor looking at the two.

"Why good morning, Shorty! Who is your friend?"

"Just stop talking right now..."

"Oh, one of those friends?"

"No! I just... it's just..."

Lainey looks at the Professor.

"I'm Lainey."

"Well, Lainey. Did Short... er... Alex invite you here?"

"Well, sort of, but not really..."

The Professor sees the hacking tool and has the realization. The house shakes once again as the Professor watches an anomaly grow to a huge size in the city.

"We have to go now..."

The two get in the car and chase after the large monster as it makes its way to what appears to be a bunker.

"Professor, what's it doing?"

"Well, years ago, these often tried to get into that bunker. I'm not exactly sure why."

The anomaly shrinks back into a man as it walks into the bunker. They catch up to find a locked door.

"How are we going to get in?"

Lainey holds up her hacking tool.

"Umm... hello?"

The girl goes to work on the console, speaking to the other two as she does it.

"This is an old system of encoding, but I'm pretty sure I can crack it with this..."

The door unlocks and pops open as Alex's eyes widen.

"I already love you..."

The three rush in to see the man.

"I have to inform you that you've lost..."

Alex picks one of his pistols up and fires through the man's head, making him burst into white steam.

"Anomalies talk too much..."

"Alex, you don't know what I've caused."

The three go to the Professor's house to have Lainey pick out her weapon. She picks out some metal bladed bird shaped throwing weapons cut to look like phoenixes.

They all go to sleep that night, knowing something big is on the rise...


End file.
